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Let’s face it, navigating the regimented path of adulthood can often feel impossible for young adults… Or any adult for that matter! At 38, I’m still struggling to figure everything out. But what I’m slowly starting to learn, from both my own experiences and through my clients, is when we try to fit into these societally-defined boxes that aren’t quite tailored to us, of course we’re going to feel like failures.
Wasting our days worrying about our credit score, monthly expenses, health insurance, bank accounts, physical health, student loans, social events, our to-do list… the list goes on and on with the challenges of adult life. But what if the secret to adulting isn’t about meeting society’s standards or checking off a list of milestones?
What if it’s really about simply embracing yourself as you are?
Find comfort in your own definition of success, and living a life filled with meaning, hygge, and joy!
You can redefine your adulthood!
Let’s explore these unique life skills that will change your “adulting definition” and “adulting meaning” to be on your own terms. This can make the journey not just easier, but so much more fulfilling. Check out the following adulting tips life hacks to live the life you want to live, without the guilt!
Learn More: What is Hygge?
Why Do I Struggle with Adulting?
Unrealistic Expectations
As young people, the struggle with adulting often stems from trying to live up to unrealistic societal standards or comparing our journey to others’. Not everyone wants to or can start a family. Not everyone cares about how much money they have in their emergency fund. You can live a happy, guilt-free life, no matter what you choose! Acknowledge that these standards do not have to define your worth or success as an adult. Everyone’s path is different, and there’s so much beauty in that diversity.
Overwhelm and Burnout
Due to living in a culture that can be pretty toxic in promoting productivity and hustle-culture, we can easily become overwhelmed. Remember that it’s okay to step back and rest! Prioritize your mental health. Embracing practices that foster relaxation and well-being are the best thing you can do to combat burnout.
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
The perfectly curated social media of others can make us feel like we’re not doing enough. True contentment comes from living a life aligned with our own values and desires, not from chasing external validations or living up to other peoples’ standards.
How Can I Get Better at Being an Adult?
Celebrate your Individuality
Despite what society tells us, adulting isn’t one-size-fits-all. You can tailor-make your adulthood to fit you just right! Above all, it’s about embracing the journey, learning from your experiences, and growing at your own pace. Define what success truly means to you. Not by societal standards, but by what truly makes YOU feel fulfilled and happy.
Adulting Tips Life Hack #1 – Values Card Sort
An adulting tips life hack to get in touch with your true self is engaging in a Values Card Sort. This activity involves sorting through a deck of cards that can be purchased here, or make your own! Each card represents different values, and you sort them by importance to help you clarify what means the most to you. It’s a visual and interactive way to connect with your core beliefs and guide your life decisions accordingly.
How To:
- Prepare Your Cards: Begin by creating or obtaining a deck of cards, each labeled with a different value. These values can range from “family” and “creativity” to “independence” and “service.” You can find decks to purchase online, print a digital download, or create your own deck.
- Sort the Cards: Sort through the cards and divide them into three piles – “Very Important,” “Important,” and “Less Important.” Take your time with this process, and really reflect on what is important to you.
- Reflect and Prioritize: Afterward, focus your attention on the cards you’ve placed in the “Very Important” category. Challenge yourself to narrow these down to your top 5 values (It’s not always so easy!). This step helps you pinpoint what truly matters most to you.
- Apply Your Insights: Use your top values as a compass for making decisions, big or small. Whether it’s choosing a career path, deciding how to spend your free time, or determining the kind of relationships you want to cultivate, these values show you the most important thing to help guide you to a life that is meaningful to you.
This activity helps you actively engage with your particularly unique personal values, while making abstract concepts concrete. It can help inform you how to align your life in a meaningful way that’s unique to you. You can create visual reminders displaying your top values, to help you keep your unique values in focus on a regular basis throughout your day to day.
Learn More: Values Card Sort – 5 Simple steps to Finding your True Self: Core Values
Adulting Tips Life Hack #2 – Joyful Moments Menu
Create a “Joyful Moments Menu,” a customized and individualized menu to celebrate your unique self daily. This menu is a list of activities tailored to your likes to choose from.
How To:
- Appetizers: Write down quick, less than 10 minute mood-boosters. Things like sketching, jamming to your favorite song, or savoring your favorite snack, when you have only a few minutes to spare.
- Entrees: Write down your passions and activities that are really meaningful to you. Things like dedicating time to a project that speaks to your soul or engaging in a hobby that sets your heart alight. These are activities that allow you to dive deep into what makes you, you.
- Sides: List activities that add fun to more mundane tasks, like listening to podcasts during chores.
- Desserts: Guilty pleasures that are best enjoyed in moderation, such as social media scrolling or Netflix binges.
Displaying your “Joyful Moments Menu” where you can easily see it encourages you to make daily choices that boost your well-being and celebrate your individuality.
Learn More: Joyful Moments Menu
Prioritize Self-Acceptance
The cornerstone of a fulfilling adult life is self-acceptance. Remember that it’s okay to not be okay and that every person’s journey has its ups and downs. It’s way easier said than done, but embracing your imperfections and vulnerabilities is a sign of strength. And above all, a step towards genuine self-love. Comparing your journey to someone else’s is like comparing ballet to origami—entirely different art forms!
Adulting Tips Life Hack #3 – Victory Log
Embrace your unique path by keeping a “Victory Log.” This personal log is a dedicated space where you record your achievements, moments of personal growth, and instances where you stayed true to yourself despite external expectations.
How To:
- Get a Notebook or Digital Document: Choose a medium that you enjoy using and will regularly access, like a leather bound journal, a simple notebook, or a digital document on your computer or smartphone.
- Daily or Weekly Entries: Make it a habit to reflect on your day or week and jot down victories, no matter how small. This could include moments where you were guided by your personal values instead of following the crowd. Additionally, you can log times when you chose self-care over productivity. Or finally, instances where you celebrated your individuality in the face of conformity.
- Include Personal Growth: Beyond tangible achievements, note down instances of personal growth. Did you learn something new about yourself? Did you handle a difficult situation with grace or see progress in how you manage emotions? These are victories too!
- Celebrate Staying True to Yourself: Pay special attention to moments where you made decisions that felt right for you. Especially if they went against what others expected, or what society deems as the “right” thing. These entries are a testament to your unique journey that you can reflect on and make yourself proud.
The Victory Log is a tangible reminder of your strengths, resilience, and the beauty of your personal journey. It can counteract the tendency to compare yourself to others by focusing on your own progress and the moments that bring you pride. Make sure to regularly review your Victory Log. This can boost your self-esteem, reinforce your sense of self-worth, and deepen your commitment to living authentically.
Learn More: Victory Log
Adulting Tips Life Hack #4 – Develop your Inner Nurturer
Cultivate an “Inner Nurturer” voice within your inner dialogue. This basically helps build self-compassion and foster a loving and accepting relationship with yourself. This adulting tips life hack involves shifting your internal dialogue to being kind, supportive, and forgiving. Much like a nurturing friend or mentor would speak to you.
How To:
- Awareness and Pause: Firstly, you will work on becoming more aware of your inner dialogue. Pay attention especially during moments of stress, failure, or self-doubt. When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk or being overly critical, pause. Acknowledge the presence of this harsh voice, without judging it or yourself.
- Shift and Speak: In this moment of pause, consciously choose to shift your internal dialogue to your “Inner Nurturer” voice. Try to imagine a deeply compassionate and understanding friend, family member, mentor, or fictional character. How would they speak to you in this situation? What words of comfort, encouragement, or support would they offer? Speak these words to yourself, either silently or out loud. It may feel phony at first, especially if it’s not what you’re used to, but that’s where practice comes in!
- Practice Regularly: Like any habit, consistently practicing will strengthen your Inner Nurturer voice and make it more natural and automatic over time. Set aside a few minutes each day for a specifically self-compassionate break. Intentionally practice speaking to yourself with kindness, loving acceptance, and understanding.
- Affirmations and Mantras: Lastly, develop a set of personal affirmations or mantras that resonate with your need for self-compassion and nurturing. Examples might include, “I am doing my best, and that is enough,” or “I accept myself unconditionally.” Use these affirmations as often as possible or whenever you need a compassionate boost.
This practice works by reframing and retraining your brain to default to kindness rather than criticism. Eventually, your Inner Nurturer voice becomes stronger and more influential than your inner critic. This will ultimately lead to embracing self-love, accepting yourself as you are, and releasing the guilt of not meeting external expectations. With consistent practice, you can basically transform your relationship with yourself. Subsequently fostering a foundation of self-compassion that supports your well-being and personal growth.
Learn More: Develop your Inner Nurturer
Cultivate a Cozy, Comfortable Life
Integrating principles of hygge into your life can transform your daily routine. This includes things like focusing specifically on comfort and taking time to enjoy the simple things. Create a living space that feels basically like a sanctuary, find joy in small moments, and remember that a meaningful life is built on a collection of simple, happy moments.
Learn More: Hygge Lifestyle Tips (And How to Actually Do it!)
Adulting Tips Life Hack #5 – Create a Cozy Corner
Creating a “Cozy Corner” (otherwise known as a “hyggekrog“) in your home is an exquisite adulting tip life hack for cultivating a relaxing, comfortable life. This special nook is dedicated specifically to relaxation, self-care, and mindfulness. Above all, providing you with a physical space to unwind, reflect, and recharge amidst the busyness of daily life.
How To:
- Choose Your Space: Identify a quiet corner or small space in your home where you can create your sanctuary. It doesn’t need to be large; simply the corner of your bedroom or living room can work perfectly. Or, you can even just pull up a cushion next to a window, or turn the corner of your bed into a temporary cozy corner.
- Personalize Your Area: Fill this space with items that evoke comfort and calm specifically for you. Consider a soft throw blanket, plush pillows, a comfortable chair or floor cushions, and perhaps a small bookshelf with your favorite reads and cozy decor. Adding a lamp for soft lighting or candles for a soothing glow can also enhance the coziness.
- Incorporate Sensory Elements: Introduce elements that engage each of your senses in a relaxing way. This could include a Bluetooth speaker for soft music or nature sounds, an essential oil diffuser with your favorite calming scents, or a small indoor plant to bring a bit of nature indoors. Have tasty snacks available, and soft textures.
- Make It Tech-Free: Designate your cozy corner as a technology-free zone, or limit tech use to devices that contribute to relaxation, like an e-reader or a device for playing music. The goal is to create a space that encourages you to disconnect from the digital world and reconnect with yourself.
- Use Your Space Regularly: Incorporate visits to your cozy corner into your daily routine. Whether it’s starting your day with a cup of tea and some quiet reflection, unwinding with a book in the evening, or practicing mindfulness or meditation, make this space a regular part of your self-care practice.
Having a dedicated space for relaxation and self-care within your home acts as a physical reminder to slow down and prioritize your well-being. It provides a sanctuary from stress and a haven for comfort, not only enhancing the physical comfort of your living environment but also supports your mental health and emotional health, encouraging a deeper connection with yourself and a more joyful, serene life.
Learn More: Hyggekrog
Adulting Tips Life Hacks #6 – Gratitude Photography Album
“Gratitude Photography” is a heartwarming life hack for appreciating the little things in life and finding deeper meaning in everyday moments. This activity involves capturing daily snapshots of moments, objects, or scenes that evoke gratitude, delight, and joy in the ordinary.
How To:
- Daily Snapshots: Commit to taking at least one photograph each day of something that makes you feel grateful. It could be as simple as the morning sunlight streaming through your window, a delicious meal, a smiling face, or a serene view on your daily walk.
- Use Any Camera: There’s no need for fancy equipment; your smartphone camera is perfectly suited for this practice. The focus is on the act of noticing and appreciating, not on the technical quality of the photos.
- Create a Gratitude Album: Save your photos in a dedicated album on your phone or computer. Alternatively, for those who prefer something tangible, print your photos and create a physical gratitude journal or album.
- Reflect and Share: Spend time each week or month reviewing your gratitude photos. Reflect on the moments you captured and embody the feelings they evoke. If you feel comfortable, share some of these photos and the stories behind them with friends or family, or on social media to spread the joy.
Gratitude Photography shifts your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life. By actively looking for moments of gratitude and capturing them, you train your brain to notice and appreciate the beauty in the mundane, enhancing your overall sense of well-being and contentment. This visual diary of gratitude serves as a powerful reminder of the good in your life, even on challenging days.
Learn More: Gratitude
How Can I Make Adulting Easier?
Simplify Your Lifestyle
One of the most effective ways to make adulting easier is by simplifying your lifestyle. Simplifying isn’t just about decluttering your space (though that’s a great start); it’s about decluttering your life. Streamline your routines, and focus on what truly brings you joy. This not only reduces stress but also frees up time and energy for what matters most to you.
Adulting Tips Life Hacks #7 – One-A-Day Decluttering Challenge
Dive into the One-a-Day Decluttering Challenge, a life hack for simplifying your lifestyle and decluttering both your space and schedule. This approach focuses on the joy of minimalism, making it easier to let go of the non-essentials and cherish what truly brings value to your life.
How To:
- Declutter One Item Daily: Each day, choose one item you no longer need, use, or love and decide to donate, recycle, or discard it. This can be anything from a piece of clothing you haven’t worn in years to an unused gadget collecting dust.
- Simplify One Routine: Look at your daily routines and identify one action you can simplify or eliminate. Maybe it’s making your breakfast routine more efficient or cutting down your social media time by 10 minutes. Small changes add up to significant time savings.
- Document Your Progress: Keep a fun journal or take before-and-after photos of decluttered spaces or jot down how simplifying a routine has positively impacted your day. This can really help keep you motivated to view your progress all in one place.
- Make It a Game: Turn the challenge into a game by setting mini-goals or rewards for yourself. For example, after a week of successful decluttering, treat yourself to a cozy night in, a favorite meal, or a movie night.
- Involve Friends or Family: Boost the fun by getting friends or family involved. Share your daily achievements, challenge each other, and celebrate your collective progress. A little friendly competition can add to the motivation!
This adulting tip life hack can break down the overwhelming task of decluttering and simplifying into manageable, daily actions. It encourages consistency and mindfulness about what you truly need and value. By making decluttering a fun, daily habit, you pave the way for a lifestyle filled with more space, time, and joy for what truly matters.
Learn More: Decluttering Tips
Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is essential. Saying no to things that don’t align with your values or detract from your well-being frees you up to say yes to what enriches your life. Remember, every no to something that doesn’t serve you is a yes to something that does!
Learn More: Setting Boundaries
Adulting Tips Life Hacks #8 – Yes Filter
The “Yes Filter” technique involves creating a personalized set of criteria that any request must pass through before you agree to it. It’s about prioritizing your time, energy, and well-being by ensuring that what you say yes to aligns with your values, goals, and capacity.
How To:
- Define Your Criteria: Start by defining clear criteria that any request or opportunity must meet for you to consider it. Criteria might include whether the task aligns with your values, contributes to your goals, fits within your schedule without causing stress, or brings you joy.
- Pause Before Responding: Implement a mandatory pause before responding to requests. Use this time to run the request through your Yes Filter. If it doesn’t meet your established criteria, it’s a sign that you should probably say no.
- Prepare Your Responses: Craft a few polite but firm responses for when you need to say no. Having these ready and practiced can ease the discomfort of declining, at least partially. Examples include, “Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t commit to that right now,” or “I’m honored, but I need to prioritize other commitments at the moment.”
- Communicate Clearly and Kindly: When saying no, communicate your decision clearly and kindly. You don’t need to explain or make excuses, but a simple and honest response respects both your boundaries and the other person’s request.
- Reflect on Your Choices: Regularly reflect on your decisions to say yes or no. Consider how they’ve impacted your life, stress levels, and happiness. This reflection helps you refine your Yes Filter over time, eventually making it even more effective.
The Yes Filter technique shifts the decision-making process from reactive to proactive, giving you control over your commitments. By setting clear criteria, you ensure that your decisions align with what’s truly important to you, minimizing the extra stress in your life. By adopting this method, you’ll find that eventually, saying no becomes easier and more natural, allowing you to focus on what truly matters in your life.
Learn More: Saying No
Embrace Slow Living
Slow living emphasizes quality over quantity, presence over busyness. By slowing down, you can savor life more fully, appreciate the present moment, and make more intentional choices. This approach reduces stress and enhances your enjoyment of everyday life.
Learn More: Slow living
Adulting Tips Life Hacks #9 – Mindful Moments
This Mindful Moments strategy is about intentionally inserting pauses into your day, dedicating time to truly savor the moment, and engaging deeply with your activities and surroundings. It’s a celebration of quality over quantity, encouraging mindfulness, and appreciating the here and now.
- Identify Opportunities for Mindful Moments: Start by identifying moments in your day that could be slowed down. This could be your morning coffee, your commute, meal times, or even the way you wind down before bed.
- Create Daily Rituals: Transform these routine tasks into cherished rituals. For example, make your morning coffee preparation a time for quiet reflection, or turn your evening skincare routine into a self-care ceremony. These rituals slow down time, making ordinary tasks feel special.
- Digital Detox: Set aside specific times each day or week where you disconnect from all digital devices. Use this time to engage with the world around you more deeply, whether that’s through reading, crafting, nature walks, or simply sitting in silence.
- Create Slow Spaces: Designate areas in your home as “slow zones” where the pace is deliberately relaxed. This could be a cozy reading nook, a garden space, or a comfortable corner with soft lighting and cushions for meditation or relaxation.
- Embrace Leisurely Hobbies: Pick up hobbies that encourage slowness and presence, such as gardening, painting, knitting, reading, or yoga. These activities naturally promote a slower pace of life and mindfulness.
The Mindful Moments practice works because it shifts the focus from doing to being. By consciously engaging in activities with full attention, you break the cycle of mindless busyness and start to appreciate the richness of the present moment. This shift not only reduces stress but also enhances your overall satisfaction with life.
Learn More: Mindfulness
Redefining Adulthood
In redefining what adulthood means, it’s crucial to let go of the guilt for not meeting certain societal expectations and to embrace living a life that is true to yourself. Whether through adopting a hygge lifestyle, practicing self-care, or simply allowing yourself to find joy in the ordinary, the essence of adulting lies in creating a life that feels meaningful and joyful to you.
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to adulting. It’s about making choices that align with your values, finding comfort in your own path, and embracing the journey with all its imperfections. By redefining adulthood on your own terms, you open the door to a more peaceful, fulfilling, and hygge-filled life.
